


take it. 2 fingers. (one can.)

by chosuiri, jeien



Series: asscan cinematic universe (acu) [1]
Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Gen, also there's no actual ship going on it's msotly yamato centric, damn you shirai you cursed my crops, fingers in his ass yamato, hairspray can in his ass yamato, i hated writing this fic too, its not a shitpost but i suppose it is but a well-written shitpost (i hope), masturbation (sighs)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 10:14:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16931370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chosuiri/pseuds/chosuiri, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeien/pseuds/jeien
Summary: Yamato gets an offer to voice in a BLCD. Stupidly, he accepts it.





	take it. 2 fingers. (one can.)

**Author's Note:**

> based off [this](https://twitter.com/RElKAORU/status/1068017034758316033) and here's [audio](http://yaoisex.tumblr.com/post/179486195864/a-few-days-ago-whitey-was-a-guest-on-mappi) proof if you don't believe me. shirai yusuke is a fiend and he must be stopped (stan shirai he's a good guy. does good work. wish he was less cursed though.)
> 
> also, the blcd ymt is voicing in is actually based off of the blcd shirai voiced in which Probably led him to doing these Accursed Actions. I bought the blcd with my own money and i dread remembering that fact everyday. i don' tknow the actual plot but this is what i gathered after listening to the whole damn thing with no japanese knowledge and a dream

**[TSUMUGI]:** Yamato-san, there is a new job offer for you!

 **[YAMATO]:** Oh? What is it?

 **[TSUMUGI]:** Um…

 **[TSUMUGI]:** It’s for a drama CD. Usually they would request voice actors, but they thought you would be a good fit for this!

 **[YAMATO]:** Well, it can’t be too different from acting… shouldn’t they be asking Mitsu for this kind of stuff lol

 **[TSUMUGI]:** I-It wouldn’t be good for his image!

 **[TSUMUGI]:** This would be a hit with your male fans!

 **[YAMATO]:** Huh… interesting, I’ll do it.

 **[TSUMUGI]:** Are you sure? I can always turn down the offer.

 **[YAMATO]:** Hey, a job’s a job. Don’t worry, I’m a professional.

 **[TSUMUGI]:** Okay…

 **[TSUMUGI]:** Um, well, you’ll learn more on the first meeting day to be announced later, but here is the title of the manga that the Drama CD will be based off of: _A Closed World ~Brightness Within~_

 **[YAMATO]:** Manga, huh. Would Tama know more about it?

 **[TSUMUGI]:** I would hope not… ><

 **[TSUMUGI]:** Anyways! I will contact you later with more information!

 

Yamato chuckles silently to himself as he exits the rabbit chat, and then takes a sip out of his mug. Currently, he’s the only one in the dorms, but he’s sure Nagi’s coming back soon. Out of curiosity, he types the name of the manga in the search bar and finds _interesting_ results. Thinking that maybe he shouldn’t really look at this after all, and just take it as it comes, he presses the back button and exits out of his phone’s browser. Yeah. That’s not happening.

The door opens, the sound of Nagi’s over-the-top voice filling the room and bringing the liveliness back in again. “I’m hooooooooooooooooome! OH, Yamato, is that you?”

“Who else?” Yamato snorts, “everyone else is busy today. Hey, Nagi. Come here for a second?”

Nagi blinks, but slowly nods as he shrugs off his coat and tosses it over the couch as he sits himself on the opposite side of Yamato. “Oh, you plan on revealing those secrets of yours?”

He rolls his eyes, “not that. But I suppose it’s a secret I’d like you to keep from anyone else. So you read manga too, right?”

Nagi nods again, “OH, do you want some recommendations? Yamato, you haven’t yet caught up on Ma--”

“Then have you heard of _A Closed World ~Brighteness Within~_ or something like that?” It’s probably better to ask Nagi than to consult a search engine out of all things. He shouldn’t be using his friend as a search filter, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

Nagi chokes up for a second, and his eyes widen as he stares at Yamato. “It is a BL manga that has become very popular as of late, why would you know about it, Yamato?” Nagi’s face grows darker when he seems to easily reach the conclusion without Yamato having to clarify anything. “According to my net friends who was very enthusiastic about it, there were rumors of it receiving a drama CD…”

Yamato sighs, “yeah. So what’s BL?”

“It stands for _BOYS LOVE_ ,” Nagi crinkles his nose, “I don’t read that sort of thing, Yamato, please do not misunderstand--”

“I don’t care if you do or not.” Yamato sighs, “either way, Onii-san will have to purchase a copy.”

Nagi raises an eyebrow, “and why is that?”

“I accepted the job to voice in it. Happy?” Yamato sighs, “just don’t let any of the other kids know about it. It _really_ won’t be good.”

Nagi gasps, standing up from the couch, and then tugging at Yamato’s sleeve. “Are you the seme or uke?”

“Don’t know yet.” Yamato sighs, “let go of me. What are you doing?”

Nagi huffs, “just a trip to the bookstore. You’ll come with me, right, Yamato?”

Yamato gulps as Nagi pulls out his weakness -- the puppy eyes. He groans, and nods as he adjusts his glasses.

* * *

Yamato grumbles as he settles in his seat at the meeting in discussing the production of the drama CD. Next to him sat Tsumugi whose eyes were anxiously flitting about the room. “Manager, why are you the one so nervous?”

“I-I just haven’t participated in such a discussion before…” She takes a quick deep breath, “I’m also nervous because such an important person is here!” Tsumugi whispers quickly.

Yamato hums, following his manager’s gaze to a mature looking older woman with glasses. She screams someone important. And in fact, looking around the rest of the room, all he sees is other people in official suits and he doesn’t recognize any other immediate talent. Of course, it’s not like he was exactly familiar with any of the other voice actors…

Honestly, his mind is just going back to the bookstore adventure he had with Nagi, who dragged him into the forbidden BL corner of the store, quite boldly. Nagi made a quip how that he’s finally able to stand in here without feeling self-conscious since Yamato was with him-- he soon found out the meaning of that as girls excitedly whispered behind their back that they must’ve been a couple. _Eugh_.

Either way, they flipped through several of the recommended BL mangas the store had, and honestly Yamato has a pretty good grip of what the seme and uke are. And he doesn’t think he’ll be the uke, but… this was the time where he’ll be cast. He prayed that he was at least the seme so he could have some pride.

The hushed voices come to a stop, as the meeting starts. They discuss the production in great detail, with all of them going around the table and introducing themselves. However, he doesn’t remember any other voice actors introducing themselves. Perhaps they’re running late?

“Nikaidou-san, you’ll be voicing both roles.”

Yamato stiffens, but wills himself to stifle his surprised reaction and simply grin and bear it instead. Well, if he thought of that way-- it’s less awkward since his partner is _himself_. Although, there’s so much pressure knowing that the drama CD adaption of such a popular manga isn’t getting the voice actors it deserves, but only _him_.

Ah, shit, isn’t this going under his name too? No special stage name-- well, people will recognize his voice anyways. If he could help those kids to drive up their newly acquired sexier image, then this is one of the ways. It’s _fine_ , Yamato reassures himself, and he keeps nodding along to the meeting.

Yamato receives a copy of the script, which seemed like he’ll be the one doing both parts. So this story was about a young heir named Yuri, and his relationship with his childhood friend and butler, Nao. Thankfully, the BLCD is very plot-driven, and Yamato even found himself touched by the poignant storytelling-- then the last chapters delved into them fucking. Which well, that’s how BLs go, right? It got pretty intense, with a kidnapping scene occuring and for a second it made Yamato feel like it was more up his alley.

The CD heavily revolved around this closed world of a forbidden romance between a young master and his butler… and it looks like both of them will be voiced by Yamato. _Great_ , wonderful really. Now he doesn’t have to feel bad about being the bottom when he’ll be _both_. It’s a blessing in disguise.

He pages through the script, and resolves that he’ll practice the sex scenes first to make sure he has those down first. Then everything else should come pretty naturally.

Maybe he’ll ask Mitsu for pointers on voice acting.

* * *

“I’m _not_ practicing this with you.” Mitsuki jeers as he glares down at Yamato. “I was flattered to hear that you were asking me for advice, but then… you want me to voice the other part? Hell no!”

“Why not, Mitsu? You’re a great voice actor--” He refuses to ask anyone else in this dorm. Nagi will make a big deal out of it, and Sou would be way too embarrassed. He’s reassured that Mitsuki is frank enough to take it.

Mitsuki sighs, and begins to massage his temples. “It’s _awkward_. I don’t want to have sex with you. Or act like I am-- you know, everyone’s going to get the wrong idea!”

Yamato pauses, “really? I guess our walls here are pretty thin, huh.” He flips through the script, and then looks at it and reads off the words. “Mmmn… Nao-san, I’m feeling all weird…”

“Stop it!” Mitsuki exclaims, squeezing his eyes shut as he covers his ears with his hands.

Yamato smirks, and keeps reading each lines as he exchanges with himself in a dialogue.

Mitsuki continues to try to shield himself off from Yamato’s practice, but eventually he slides off his bed, and then kicks Yamato squarely on his back. “Move!”

“Yuri-san, I… hngh!” Yamato continues in a much deeper voice, only causing Mitsuki to get more physical and he starts trying to lift Yamato off the floor.

“I get it, you have to practice for your role! But can’t you do it elsewhere, you damn old man! I heard Yaotome’s apartment is soundproof!”

Yamato chuckles, and he pulls out his phone to send TRIGGER’s leader a quick rabbit chat. “Is that so?”

“You better not drag him into this.” Mitsuki groans, “but I don’t care as long as you’re not doing this shit here. Got it?”

“Yes, yes… you sure though, Mitsu?”

“Get out!”

Yamato reluctantly leaves his friend’s room, and then is alerted that Gaku answered his message. He pulls up the rabbit chat, and snorts.

 

 **[YAMATO]:** Yaotome, can I come over? You don’t have work right now right  
**[GAKU]:** Sure. We can drink later too, Nikaidou.

 **[GAKU]:** This is so sudden though (lol). You need something?

 **[YAMATO]:** Just your soundproof walls

 **[GAKU]:** What

 **[GAKU]:** What are you doing

 **[GAKU]:** Nikaidou please don’t tell me you’re coming over to jerk off

 **[YAMATO]:** Why is that your first thought (lol)

 **[GAKU]:** The way you were saying it!

 **[YAMATO]:** You’ll see

* * *

“... huh.” Gaku nods as he stares blankly at Yamato’s script, flipping through the pages quickly before handing it back to Yamato. “So that’s how it is. The plot does seem fairly decent, and the more important part of the CD than the sex scene. It’s not bad, really.”

“Yaotome, have you not voiced in one of these before?”

“Of course not!” Gaku exclaims, but pauses as he leans in slightly. “You know, I know how they make the squelching noises for the sex scenes. Wanna see? It’s just like how they make all those sound effects for movies.”

Yamato smirks, “oh, so I got you interested? Alright, don’t say it’s my fault since you’re the one who brought it up.” Gaku laughs, and then begins to explain about how from movies they have Foley artists working on the sound effects after filming-- Yamato only nods along, thinking that Gaku is really enthusiastic about movies.

Gaku then leads Yamato to the kitchen, and Yamato sits at the counter with his arms crossed and eyes still fixated on his script. Gaku, meanwhile, busies himself with kneading soba. “You’re really going the extra mile. Don’t you have store bought soba?”

“Why would I eat store bought soba?” Gaku asks rhetorically, crinkling his nose just as Mitsu was earlier. It’s the same disgust, but of course, in way different contexts. For one, Yaotome was way more enthusiastic about the BLCD than Mitsu-- “Soba is best when made fresh.” Gaku pauses, “oh, I guess I’m not actually going to eat it. I’ll eat it later still though.” He shrugs, and continues carrying out his soba making quest.

Yamato sighs, and lets TRIGGER’s leader do that while he starts rehearsing some of the other lines from earlier scenes, with Gaku giving the occasional pointer on his vocal performance. Yamato’s strength lies in his expressiveness, and he can’t do much of that when it’s just his voice, so he has to make sure more of his emotions are conveyed in his voice.

Geez, why does Yaotome know so much about this?

Finally, Gaku turns on the stove and starts to quickly boil the cut soba in the pot. Yamato lowers his script, watching quietly as Gaku quickly scoops out the cooker soba from the water and then rinsing it to cool it down. Rather than presenting it prettily, he takes out a bowl and pours the soba straight into it. He leaves the pot on the stove, but makes sure to turn it off.

Yamato blinks.

Gaku stays silent, shuffling quietly as he opens up one of his drawers to produce a pair of chopsticks. Finally, he speaks up, “it’s done.”

“... so you just made soba? Thanks, but I’m not hungry.” Yamato laughs, eyeing the bowl of noodles warily.

Gaku shakes his head. “No. Watch this.” He takes the chopsticks in his hands, and then begin to furiously stir the soba in his bowl.

… enlightening. It really does sound like good pussy. “So the asshole sounds the same?”

“I mean, it shouldn’t be too different from a woman… just a different entrance.” Gaku shrugs, “I wouldn’t know.”

“Hm…”

“I _don’t_ know and I will _never_ know.” Gaku insists, cheeks flushing at Yamato’s implied insinuation. “What about you, Nikaidou? Have experience with men?”

“Only women for me, too.” Yamato returns quickly, “so alright. I guess it sounds like a dick when you’re jacking off too.”

“... do you want to practice with this Foley effect or not, Nikaidou?” Gaku deadpans, pausing in his stirring.

Yamato nods, and then he begins to read out some more lines. “Aaah.. aah! Nao-san, I’m going to come!”

Gaku begins to stir the bowl of noodles, squeezing his eyes shut out of presumed embarrassment as well. Then, he opens his eyes again when Yamato stops in the middle of the scene.

They merely stare at each other blankly, and Yamato swears they both have the same thought running through their head: _why are we doing this_.  

Suddenly, the doorbell rings, signalling a guest. Gaku blinks, and walks away from the kitchen with the bowl of soba and chopsticks in his hands still.

Yamato strains to hear the conversation as the door creaks open, and he hears a _very_ familiar voice. _Damn, Mitsu, you should've just told me if you wanted to come!_

“Hi, Izumi-ani. Do you want some soba?”

“So you’re not having sex with Yamato-san?”

Yamato snorts, “oh, we were having sex? You should’ve told me, Yaotome, I would’ve put my script down.”

Soon the sound of the bowl landing on the floor follows, and Yamato sincerely hopes that the bowl wasn’t glass. Thankfully, it seemed to stay in intact, indicating it might be just plastic or wooden. It didn’t mean it sounded any better, though.

“We’re not!” Gaku exclaims as he tugs Mitsuki into his apartment, shutting the door after him. He drags Mitsuki along to meet Yamato again in the kitchen, and Yamato’s honestly attacked by the weary expression on Mitsuki’s face. Wow.

Mitsuki squints, “why did you have soba, Yaotome?”

“Foley.” Gaku returns, excusing himself for a moment to retrieve the bowl of soba he so carelessly let fall to the floor.

Mitsuki seems to understand what that means almost immediately, as his eyes light up in understanding and then he turns around to glare at Yamato. “I told you to keep him out of this! Now you have him making sound effects for you?”

“Whoa,” Yamato puts a hand up, “first of all, he _offered_ to do sound effects for me. Yaotome’s more of a team player than you, Mitsu. Hey, do you want to be the seme? I realized you probably just didn’t want to be the uke.”

Mitsuki blinks, “what… what are you talking about?”

“Hey, I want to be the seme though,” Gaku interrupts as he returns to the kitchen with the bowl of soba in his hands.

“Mitsu’s more of a seme than you’ll ever be.”

“Fine, I’ll give him that. So you’re saying we’re both ukes?”

“Oh, I’m definitely not…”

“Oh yes, you definitely are…”

“I _really_ don’t know what you guys are talking about.” Mitsuki interrupts the both of them with a frown. “Let’s just eat soba and drink, and then Yamato-san will just figure this whole CD situation out himself!”

Gaku shrugs, “sounds good to me.”

“Yeah, better than a threesome.” Yamato nods in agreement, a bit relieved since that conversation was going in a _very odd_ direction he could never come back from.

* * *

Thankfully, the recording was _finally done_. After some strenuous rehearsal, the job has been done, and all he has to do is wait for the release and then the load of buzz that his involvement with the BLCD will generate.

It’s rather normal for voice actors, but an idol like him… well, it’ll certainly be something. He also realized another reason they had him voice both parts is that the fans would be somehow disappointed if he had done it with someone else. Also, it was an interesting conversation starter. After it’s been announced that he was voicing in it, Mitsuki has made several jokes about it at interviews. Thanks.

He groans, finally taking his well-deserved rest as he crashes into the comfort of his own bed. And he still has the script sitting right next to him. He thinks to burn it on the stove later, but instead he picks it up and looks through it-- particularly those sex scenes. Hm… does it really feel that good to have it up the ass? Ever since he convinced himself to try some true method acting, he’s tried to finger himself on two separate times with… pretty uncomfortable results. And, for the record, he only did it twice so he knew this really wasn’t up his alley. Yamato was perfectly content with leaving that experience at that and try to get inspiration another way-- until it happened.

He walked in on someone.

For the sake of privacy and his own mental health, he will stop it there and refuse to think about it any further.

Aside from having to see his two friends and colleagues in such an intimate way, seeing them crying out for more with vocal inflections he’d only heard in really low-budget porn unfortunately got him thinking: _what if I just suck at it?_

Well… it’s time to find out now. Luckily, the other kids should be out, so it’s only him and Sou in the dorm.

Poor Sou. Hopefully he has headphones in or something, because it’s going to be a time for him otherwise. Yamato forces himself up a bit, and he opens a drawer to see if he has anything in here. Oh, so he still has some lube left over. Nice. He returns to his bed, and sets the bottle next to him.

Well, third time’s supposedly the charm. Yamato clicks his tongue as he undoes the clasp on his jeans, unzipping them and pulling them down slightly. Maybe he should try to approach this differently? Like, different angle or motions? He doesn’t know. Who ever even knows what they’re doing anymore in the world?

He uncaps the lube and coats his fingers with it. He then spills forward, cheek pressed against the sheets and hand reaching between his legs and even further still until he hits the puckered ring. Yamato takes a deep breath and exhales slowly while slipping his middle finger inside up to the first knuckle. Okay, this is still just as weird as when he first tried it. He closes his eyes and wills himself to relax, even just a little bit. This is for a better performance in the future, in the freak event he winds up doing this again. It’ll be good for his career-- maybe the exposure might even help the kids’ careers to some extent. He'll take the bullet so they don't have to and hope that those boys land more wholesome roles. _Relax, relax_.

Eventually he does relax enough for him to be able to sink a second finger in and Yamato has to fight the urge to pull away from the still-foreign sensation. He needs to commit, at least enough to finally make the decisive verdict that he really doesn’t like this and it’s not just because he sucks at it. He _doesn’t_ suck at it, okay, he’s just learning. His fingers fumble inside him, twisting and rubbing aimlessly as he stretches himself open. Is it really supposed to take _this_ fucking long?

Just as he’s starting to get impatient, there’s a brush of the fingertips that hits something and suddenly his legs shake, knees giving out a little, a short moan ripping itself from his throat. What the hell was _that_ ? Was that it? Yamato stretches his fingers a little further in, trying to reach that revelatory spot again but he just keeps grazing it with the nail, it’s driving him _crazy_. He’s biting the corner of the pillow conveniently by him and, fuck, if this is how shit feels now, he can only imagine if he gets to hit that spot properly.

No such luck.

His breath is ragged from trying to contain the moans and whimpers of desperation because this is fucking _ridiculous_. It feels like he’s been at this for forever, at least enough to get used to having his fingers up his ass enough for his hole to actually start clenching around them in anticipation for an actual good time. He tries to calm his frustrations and think rationally. What can he do?

Yamato’s eyes wander around as he tries to come up with something, when his gaze falls on a can of hairspray just an arm’s length away.

Hell no.

Hell _no_.

This is a bad idea. That hairspray can is bad news. Would that thing even fit? _It’s more tall than wide, I guess._ Wait, no. No, no, no. He’s a degenerate son of a gun, but he’s not that degenerate. He’s not so base that he needs to resort to shoving a whole damn can of hairspray up his ass just to prove that he doesn’t suck at fingerfucking himself.

Yamato finds himself reaching for it anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah. i'm so sorry. 
> 
> i wonder why gaku knows so much about blcds :pensive:
> 
> edit: I have taken this off anon because i love chaos. i do have to say my friend (indicated as a cocreator!) helped me write the last part because bold of us to assume i know how to write anything horny
> 
> edit edit: (from cocreator) tbh i still can't believe i wrote that either


End file.
